Another day, another blog

This is maybe the third or fourth time I've started a blog. Every now and then I have a great thought that I think everyone should hear about. I write about it on a blog, get too scared for anyone to read it, refuse to post it on any of my other social media sites, and eventually the blog fades away into oblivion. It's funny, because I love to write. I'm applying to MFA programs. I want to write for a living, or at least be involved in the world of writing. I read other people's blogs. It always feels like everyone has already said what I want to say, so I convince myself not to write, at least not publicly, because that way, my thoughts remain my own, unopen to critique or question. They can remain my words.

At the same time, I long for someone to read what I have to say. Because even if someone else has already spoken on the same topic, my voice is uniquely mine. It is something no one can imitate perfectly. It is my own, and it is valuable. It matters. The things I want to say to the world, whether its speaking out about depression, my battle to understand my own privilege, my love for Taylor Swift, my job as an 8th grade English teacher, matter to the world because I matter. Not in some grandiose, existential way. In a small, tangible way. My words matter just as much as anyone else's.

So maybe this blog will sink just like all the others, but I'm hoping it won't. I'm hoping that this time, I'll keep writing. Maybe it will be fiction, maybe a memoir, maybe rambling thoughts from a confused 23 year old girl. I'm not sure what's next, but I know that it will include words that I want to share.